Alexandria considered herself a strong woman, but she trembled before Queen Venetia’s observant blue stare.
How could she not? The King had been making eyes at Alexandria for months now. Every feast, every celebration. He danced with the Queen, then he danced with her. The courtiers whispered about it. Said she was vying to be usurp the queen. Venetia had to know. It had to be why she called Alexandria into her private parlor. Had to be why no other soul joined them.
Alexandria tried her best to steady her shaking hands.
When Queen Venetia drew a delicate breath, Alexandria nearly jumped. “It’s no secret, Lady Alexandria, that my husband the King is quite fond of you.”
A boulder lodged itself in Alexandria’s throat. “Majesty—”
“You have my permission to court him.”
Alexandria was too stricken to speak.
Queen Venetia breathed a tiny laugh. “Come now, Alexandria. It’s beneath you to gape like a fish.”
Alexandria clamped her mouth closed, but still couldn’t understand. “You can’t possibly be alright with…” She trailed off, unable to speak the words.
“But I am.” Alexandria looked for any hint, any sign of a lie in the Queen’s golden face. She found none. And Her Majesty knew this. “I assure you, I’m not lying. I do not jest. This is not a trap.”
“Forgive me, Majesty, but that makes little sense.” This might be the first time in history a queen has asked a courtier to be her husband’s mistress.
“I agree it’s odd.” She opened her mouth, but closed it again, pensive. Finally, she decided on, “It is no secret I don’t service Ronan as a wife anymore.”
“I haven’t—”
“I know,” Venetia was quick to calm Alexandria’s denial with a raised palm. “I know you haven’t. But many ladies would like to. Ronan doesn’t have any interest in them. He doesn’t care for it when a lady throws herself at him.”
“As they’re wont to do.” Alexandria rolled her eyes at the courtiers. Their behavior was appalling.
“Exactly. Where the others see my absence from his bed as an opportunity, you hold back. That alone sets you apart,” the Queen said with an incline of her head. “I have no romantic love for my husband anymore, but many would take my place in a heartbeat. You haven’t. Ronan has begged you, no?”
He had, but the answer was stuck in Alexandria’s thick throat. Was it a trick? Was this Venetia’s way of getting Alexandria to admit her feelings so that she could run her out of court? Ronan wouldn’t let that happen. Alexandria believed that with all her heart.
Wouldn’t stop Venetia from poisoning her morning juice.
Finally, Alexandria cleared her throat. “Why may I love him, Majesty? Why have you—” She nearly said given up, but thought that would be a bit cruel to say to the woman who was giving Alexandria permission to sleep with her husband. “Why have you fallen out of love with him?”
Queen Venetia held Alexandria’s gaze. “Because two years ago, Ronan went against my wishes, against my better judgment, and sold our son Prince Holtan in marriage to Princess Liana of Ilya to keep peace between our kingdoms. He sold Holtan’s chance at happiness like it was a slaughtered chicken. Do you know what it’s like to be a mother and know your child will never know joy?”
Alexandria shook her head somberly.
“It is an unbearable weight.” The Queen bent her head. “Yes, there’s a chance Holtan could find happiness with Liana. Perhaps they’re Fated. I pray for that every day, because if they aren’t, he is shackled forever to a person he’s not in love with. It’s a different kind of torture.” The Queen’s brilliant blue eyes find Alexandria’s quickly. “I don’t mean to say my marriage to Ronan is torture. In another life, if we weren’t bound by the duties of royals, we would have the fervor of young lovers all our lives. We would be so in love it would annoy people.”
Alexandria and the Queen shared little laughs. Venetia’s smile slowly fell. “But we don’t have that luxury. Ronan takes his position as king seriously and he expects the same of myself and Holtan. I believe that’s why he didn’t blink when it came to arranging Holtan’s engagement.
“I can’t be that duty-bound queen. I did not bring my son into this world so that he could suffer. I couldn’t prevent the engagement. Can’t reverse it.”
“You’re a wonderful mother, Majesty.” Alexandria had no reservations about Venetia’s intent in this meeting. The sorrow welled in her eyes. A mother’s heartbreak. “Prince Holtan knows he’s loved.”
Venetia’s smile was weak. “That’s kind of you to say.” She paused. “Would you allow Ronan to court you, now that you have my blessing?”
“I would entertain the idea,” Alexandria answered slow and honest. “So long as he did not disrespect you, Majesty. I would never supplant you. I would never take your position. I don’t want to be queen. I just want—”
She’d said too much.
But Queen Venetia laughed. “You want Ronan.” She shrugged. “I can’t blame you. He’s handsome and attentive. He’ll protect you for your whole life. But promise me one thing, Lady Alexandria.”
She nodded. “Yes, Majesty.”
“If you bare Ronan children,” pain swam in Venetia’ eyes, “do not let him use them like he used my boy.”
Alexandria’s stomach jumped at the idea of giving Ronan a child. A pleasant feeling. But she did not want to be Queen Venetia, already saddened about her son’s adult life. Paled from her depression, her perceived failure. Alexandria did not want to resolve herself to emotional widowhood before the age of thirty.
She could share him with Venetia. Let Venetia reign as the public wife and Queen while Alexandria controlled the night and sheets. Perhaps, in her own strange way as Ronan’s mistress, she could be a champion for Venetia. An ally.
“I promise, Majesty,” she said. “I can…I can try to persuade him to reverse his decision about Prince Holtan’s engagement.”
Venetia smiled softly. “You’re kind, but I don’t think even you can succeed there.”
Queen Venetia patted the cushion next to her and Alexandria accepted the invitation to sit beside the Queen, like her equal. A Queen in her own right.
The Queen and the Mistress shared a smile.
Anne Bohannon 